Triggers

I didn’t know I had a wound that needed mending until it was triggered by a related day of celebration.

I know the bible says to honour mother and father regardless if they messed up or were picture perfect. I’ve never been one to celebrate Mother’s Day as some do.

As a mum, I used to second guess my parenting and condemn myself for not being more loving, more present, more patient, more selfless. As much as I love my girls, I had to fight off feelings of failure as a mum..not good enough etc… I’m sure I’m not the only one that goes through that.

Then there’s daughter mum issues I find still needing attention!!! Feelings of failure at honouring, not valuing nor trying harder to stay connected.

So much expectation is placed on the mum and child to celebrate a day that to often triggers the insecurities deep within the heart.

A familiar pain in my heart triggered by Mother’s Day as I remember my mothers high expectations I could not reach . My child’s heart didn’t understand my mothers personality for perfection, which left me feeling not good enough. In that pain I felt the warmth of Gods love mending my heart as my adult mind understood my mothers inability to communicate her love in the way I could receive it.

I didn’t know there was pain there until it was triggered. What triggers do you have?? And how do you respond??

I’ve processed a lot of pain over the years.. I know one thing for sure, My Father loves, and heals perfectly a heart that’s willing to face issues instead of avoiding them with substances such as food, alcohol, career, or even sports.