Triggers

I didn’t know I had a wound that needed mending until it was triggered by a related day of celebration.

I know the bible says to honour mother and father regardless if they messed up or were picture perfect. I’ve never been one to celebrate Mother’s Day as some do.

As a mum, I used to second guess my parenting and condemn myself for not being more loving, more present, more patient, more selfless. As much as I love my girls, I had to fight off feelings of failure as a mum..not good enough etc… I’m sure I’m not the only one that goes through that.

Then there’s daughter mum issues I find still needing attention!!! Feelings of failure at honouring, not valuing nor trying harder to stay connected.

So much expectation is placed on the mum and child to celebrate a day that to often triggers the insecurities deep within the heart.

A familiar pain in my heart triggered by Mother’s Day as I remember my mothers high expectations I could not reach . My child’s heart didn’t understand my mothers personality for perfection, which left me feeling not good enough. In that pain I felt the warmth of Gods love mending my heart as my adult mind understood my mothers inability to communicate her love in the way I could receive it.

I didn’t know there was pain there until it was triggered. What triggers do you have?? And how do you respond??

I’ve processed a lot of pain over the years.. I know one thing for sure, My Father loves, and heals perfectly a heart that’s willing to face issues instead of avoiding them with substances such as food, alcohol, career, or even sports.

Let what ever surfaces or is uncovered be dealt with by the anointing of the Holy Spirit today. It’s a simple prayer by giving Gods permission as David did in

Psalm 139:23-24 NKJV

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; [24] And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.

Your the apple of your fathers eye. You can trust your heart with Him. ❤️ . Psalm 17:8 NKJV

Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings.

Pray with me Thank You Father for your faithfulness. You have never left me, nor allowed me to stay stuck in emotional messes. Your unfailing love draws me to trust You more and more. I give you my heart once again, and thank you for healing the gaps in my heart that have been triggered today. Let the walls of my life that have been broken by traumas, kiss of betrayals and disappointments be rebuilt by the power of Your Love.. I am willing. In Jesus Name.